Confidence is a Key by Chris Brogan

As we wrap up 2010 and prepare for 2011, master blogger and entrepreneur Chris Brogan gives us the practical “how to” advice that can make a difference in all the years to come. Chris Brogan is President of Human Business Works, a company dedicated to equipping you for business success. He also blogs at http://chrisbrogan.com Janet

If there’s any particular personal trait that’s brought me forward more than any other, it would be confidence. Everything I’ve done in the last several years has come from building up my own confidence a step at a time. Everything I’ve accomplished comes from confidence. Here’s a quick video I shot about it for you: Chris





Great advice from Chris. Will you follow it?

Read more »

You Can't Move Ahead by Looking at the Past by Chris Brogan

In yesterday's post I spoke about the importance of keeping the doors open for business during the holidays. In today's post, I am going to have master blogger and best selling author Chris Brogan of Escape Velocity, speak to you about looking forward to move ahead. His post is especially timely because at this time of the year many people have regrets about what they didn't do, didn't accomplish. Get over it. You can't change the past. Pay attention to what Chris says. Janet

Read more »

The Confidence Game by Chris Brogan

Confidence is an integral part of success whether it be actual confidence or perceive confidence. In this article Chris Brogan discusses both types, their importance and gives you suggestions for what to do if you are lacking in confidence. As always, Chris is specific and gives you easy-to-follow advice.  

Janet

One way you can guarantee yourself success in life is by improving your confidence and your appearance of confidence.

Note that I've separated out the two, and I'm sure you know this, but let's talk about it. There's a big difference between being confident and appearing confident. In the first case, you might be fairly confident, but are choosing not to display it for some other reason. Maybe you're being deferential to someone else's opinion. Maybe you feel it's fair to be more democratic, so you don't want to appear overly confident. Here's the thing: people react positively to confidence. Even small boosts in your outward appearance of confidence will change how people perceive you.

IT'S EASY TO START PRACTICING

The smaller things are where you can start practicing. Here's one: when someone asks you where you want to go for lunch, what's your first reaction? If you're like many people, you throw the decision back at the person, asking what they want to eat. Try doing this simple thing: answer with the first food choice you think of, immediately and without hesitation. "I was thinking of having shrimp scampi today."

If people ask for your opinion, practice giving it without disclaimer, or with the fewest possible disclaimers.

If you are asked to participate on something and you don't want to do it, practice saying the following: "Thank you for asking me. It sounds really interesting, and I hope that you are successful with your project. I'm not able to work with you on it at this time." If they persist, restate. "Thanks for that. No, I'm afraid, I've got a lot on my plate and am not going to be able to help. Thanks again." See if your universe changes.

WORKING UP TO BIGGER CONFIDENCE MATTERS

Once you get good at the little stuff (and by the way, you could practice those for months before you feel like it's the first response out of your mouth), you can start practicing your bigger confidence moves. Want to learn how to talk with strangers?

Sign up to attend a local event. Not sure what? Check out out Meetup.com. Remember, you don't really even have to care what the topic is (though it'd help if you knew just a hair about it). Go to the event, and when you get in, look for a wallflower or nervous person. Walk over (careful not to block their possible escape routes, which is how people spook out shy people everywhere), and when it's appropriate to talk, start with, "I've never come to this event before. What should I expect?"

Pow. You're talking to someone you don't know. They can just lob into whatever they're going to say. When they eventually pause, say, "Oh, by the way, my name is Janet ," and hold out your hand (depending on the culture). Pow squared. You've just done it.

Practice this a ton.

YOUR THOUGHTS

Read more »

Stop It! By Chris Brogan/Escape Velocity

Stop It! What great advice Chris Brogan gives in the following article. Take a minute to look at what you're doing, where you're spending your time, who you're spending your time with and then think about if they are contributing to your life. If not, Stop It! Chris gives you permission. Janet

Stop It!

By Chris Brogan/Escape Velocity

For some reason, we think it’s the most noble act to carry on, to finish, to get through. Where’d that come from? I was raised in the clean plate club. You might have stuck out a relationship that wasn’t worth it. We all know someone who persists when they should stop, and most often, we know there are things that we should stop.
The tricky part is to find out whether you’re just stuck and can get past, or whether you should stop and let it be. I don’t have the best answer for that, but what I want to give you is permission: permission to stop. 
 

Stop

 

You don’t have to keep up with every trend.
You are hereby permitted to stop doing things out of obligation to others.
You have our permission (I think Liz Strauss also agrees) that you can stop worrying what the cool kids think about you.
You don’t have to achieve Inbox Zero.
You can stop regretting the past (get on this one, okay?).
You can stop blaming anyone but yourself. It’s how YOU take things on that grow your power.
You are free to put the brakes on putting yourself down. You’re going to be okay.
What else should you stop?

Read more »

Is what you're doing really working?

Recently we spoke about too many options and too many distractions and how they cause us to lose focus. The topic of FOCUS, or lack thereof, struck a responsive chord with many. In the following post, Chris Brogan tells you how to use Time Management to maintain your FOCUS and complete your priorities. In his usual style, Chris is clear, concise and just plain makes sense. Janet

Have Faith (But Not In Yourself)

The most powerful thing you can do for yourself is to develop a frame to work in.


Your life works best when priorities are decided for you and by you– not today, but in advance. Last week, when I saw Pay Yourself First I was reminded that you need a decision tree that helps you structure your day, or you won’t feel good about it. If today’s a waste, the feeling it gives you will carry into tomorrow, squandering its potential.



I work best with an empty inbox. Everything that needs to be done is either done right at the moment I read the email or it is deferred to GoodToDo, which I consider the perfect task management system (read Bit Literacy to understand why). Once my inbox is empty, Goodtodo tells me what my tasks are.



The most important thing is that I do not decide. The calendar is sacrosanct– if it’s in the calendar, I do it, and if there’s nothing in the calendar, I go to the list. This makes the decision process very simple, which means that even stupid-me can do it.



In other words, belief in my inability to make good decisions actually leads to making better decisions.



The smart money is on bad decision making and trust in the process.



You can make your system whatever you want it to be, but I’d urge you to consider the following (thanks to Robb Wolf’s book for this important question):



Is what you’re doing really working?



If yes, carry on. If not, consider trying something else for 30 days.



(Photo by JPhilipson.)

Read more »

Gentle Networking by Chris Brogan

Chris Brogan, author of the best selling book Trust Agents is a respected thought leader as well as one of the most popular bloggers and the “go to” man for internet advice and direction. Chris is a master at building and maintaining relationships. His comments on “Gentle Networking” are clear, concise and just plain make sense—online or off. Read it, you'll love it. Janet

From Chris Brogan,

Personally, I want to hear Chris Garrett's take, as he’s written an amazing course on it, but I wanted to start talking about networking and how it relates to escape velocity. So, you’re stuck with me, until Garrett writes us up a post.  

The Benefit of Gentle Networking

Let’s define this concept: gentle networking is meeting people, really caring about being helpful, and taking it just one step further by being ready to connect that person with someone else who would benefit from the connection. In other words, it’s not what people can do for you; it’s what you can do for others. It’s a mutual appreciation society of sorts, but with the realization that we can all help grow each other’s business, if not directly, then by the friends we know.

The benefit of this, I should point out, is that it’s far less cutthroat feeling than typical networking (what’s in it for me), plus it’s got a chance of having two hits in the exchange (a face to face connection, plus the potential of meeting someone that is useful to someone else you know for later).

For an example, I’m friends with Bryan Elliott. This friendship started with just conversations. Since then, Bryan has brought me opportunities. I’ve brought him opportunities. We’ve connected each other with others in our networks. THIS is the longer value yield of gentle networking.  

It’s About Being Patient

Sometimes, we get hungry. We need success today. However, you can’t rush networking. You can’t rush friendship. You can’t rush the serendipity effect that happens from these experiences. Just like you can’t dig a hole, throw some seeds in, and wait a few minutes for the apple to fall into your hand, you have to grow your network slowly, and feed it value. You have to find opportunities to tend it, to give it light (by promoting others), and you have to give it plenty of water (or potential deal flow) to make it worthwhile.  

The Network is Everything

You’ve heard this. You also hear, as my friend Julien says often, that someone was “a pillar in his community.” Sadly, you usually hear it at funerals. But it’s true. The network is everything, if you build it the right way, and if you grow it gently.

The best way I’ve kept my network growing is by offering lots and lots of indirect value (things like blog posts and general good will), and then lots of targeted value, often without any need for money. That’s the secret. If you can do a lot for a lot of people without needing the money, then the bigger ticket paybacks end up being amazing, and you end up having a strong and powerful network. Just practice that method. It can happen.

The Karma Thing

Please note: you MUST do these things without EXPECTING anything back. This is the super secret (and really really really hard to learn) part of this. You cannot and must not sit around saying, “Well, I did this for Dave and I never got anything for it.” There’s a difference between determining someone is a sucking greedy monster and deciding not to feed them any more of your good will, but that’s really different. Expect nothing. Do because it’s what should be done. Network because the secondary effects are where the gold hides out.
Let karma figure itself out. (Replace ‘karma’ with whatever term doesn’t weird you out.)  

Go Forth and Network Gently

Do it small, even. Pick three people (no more than three) and do something good for them without them asking. Write about them. Introduce them to someone you think would help them grow. Give away something of great value to them. Repeat twice a week until it feels like second nature. Then, see what comes of it. Are you game?

Read more »